Begin Again
by xExtra-Ordinaryx
Summary: 'They play in the Meadow. The dancing girl with the dark hair and blue eyes. The boy with blonde curls and gray eyes, struggling to keep up with her on his chubby toddler legs.' A Post-Mockingjay (Epilogue) One-Shot.(: *All rights go to Suzanna Collins.* Enjoy!


**Begin Again.**

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**Summary: **'They play in the Meadow. The danging girl with the dark hair and blue eyes. The boy with blond curls and gray eyes, struggling to keep up with her on his chubby toddler legs.' A Post-Mockingjay One-Shot.(:

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_"The questions are just beginning. The arenas have been completely destroyed, the memorials built, there are no more Hunger Games. But they teach about them at school, and the girl knows we played a role in them."_

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"I'm home!" yells Alyssa from the front door. I hurry out to meet her and give her a smile once I'm there. She returns it and gives me an uncalled for hug. "I'm sorry."

"What's wrong?" I ask, giving her a squeeze before releasing her. My daughter was named Alyssa because of the rebeginning she assured. Her name means 'bright yellow flower' which, of course, reminded me of the hope her Father brought me on that rainy day. She looks up at me in shock, but nervousness. She shouldn't have to be nervous. I'm here to listen to what she has to say—whatever that might be.

She takes a breath and then breathes her words. "Today in school, we learned something." I pause, frozen. _Did she—? _"About those Games before I was born."

"And what was that?" I ask, trying to keep my voice calm. I thought Peeta would be here when she started talking about them first, but he's working at the bakery right now and Mitch got home from kindergarten early and is now playing in the Meadow.

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_"The boy will know in a few years. How can I tell them about that world without frightening them to death? My children, who take the words of the Valley song for granted. My children, who don't know they play on a graveyard."_

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She whispers her words this time. "Are you sure I can ask?" I gnaw my lip and then nod once. She can, even if Peeta isn't here, right? "How did you and Father both make it out?" I breathe in relief that it isn't a harder question. But how do I tell her that our relationship started because of our Games? That it was all fake until he was hijacked?

I take her hand and lead her over to the couch to begin my explanations.

After, she's shocked, but looking at me in admiration. I was sure to leave out the more frightening aspects of the questions she asks, but give her the answer she wants. "That's..." She trails off, and, instead, gives me another tight hug.

Peeta comes home later and I tell him that she's beginning her questions. He's shocked obviously, but because he is Peeta, he already begins reassuring me.

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_"Peeta says it will be okay. We have each other. And the book. We can make them understand in a way that will make them braver. But one day I'll have to explain about my nightmares. Why the came. Why they won't ever really go away."_

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And those days do come.

I awaken to a sharp scream just exiting my lips. Peeta is holding me close. He's telling me that it's all a dream and that the past is the past. Those days are over. This, though, is the night that Alyssa will question my nightmares.

A soft knocking on the door makes me jump and Peeta just shushes me softly and makes sure I'm steady before giving an easy "Come in."

Alyssa walks in carefully like she always does and moves beside of me on the bed. Peeta and I find that a child is the easiest way to reassure either of us and Mitch is a heavy sleeper just like Haymitch that he was named after.

We lie there in silence. Peeta's arms around me and my own around my daughter who is looking up at me. "Mom?" she asks quietly, disrupting the silence. I look down at her to acknowledge her. "Um... why do you always have nightmares?" I hesitate. "You don't need to tell me if you don't want to talk about it."

I look to Peeta for acceptance and he just nods once and helps me through the stammers that come with explaining these things to my first and only daughter.

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_"I'll tell them how I survive it. I'll tell them that on bad mornings, it feels impossible to take pleasure in anything because I'm afraid it could be taken away."_

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"Oh, Mom. I'm so sorry," she says, squishing into me. I'd held in whatever tears threatened me explaining my past and look over at Peeta again. He just kisses my cheek, telling me I did okay. Alyssa regains my attention by speaking again. "Mom, whenever you have those, can you do something for me?"

I pause. "Anything." Peeta smiles at me and I return it slightly.

"Whenever you have those nightmares, try to think of the good things that you've seen, okay?" I'm almost foolishly confused for a second, but she continues. "Like... seeing Aunt Prim get her goat. Shooting your first squirrel. When grandmother wasn't so evasive. My first steps and Mitch's first word." She looks up at me to make sure I'm following, and I am.

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_"That's when I make a list in my head of every act of goodness I've seen someone do. It's like a game. Repetitive. Even a little redious after more than twenty years._

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**But there are much worse Games to play.**


End file.
